Recovery Road, Wk 1

LCBC is doing a series called "Recovery Road."  The description: A new year means a fresh start. But why am I already falling behind with strained relationships, financial uncertainties and spiritual struggles? This January, join LCBC as we face these challenges and together step out onto Recovery Road.
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Some of my notes from Week 1

*God is not surprised by our circumstances... We will have many trials in this life, but God has overcome the world.

*Psalm 119:105-- ("Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path") I will lead you.  I will be your light.  I will be your guide.

*Jesus will lead, but I have to follow.  Why should I follow Jesus?
   -- The cross is proof that Jesus is worthy to be followed.
   -- Mark 14:32, Jesus didn't want to die on the cross: Jesus to God, "Yet not what I will, but what You will."  (aka, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak).

*Question for me (and each of us) is: Will I follow Him?

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This has been the question of my life since college.  In college, or shortly after graduation, I realized and finally admitted to myself that I am scared of fully surrendering my life to God.  I like being in control.  I was raised to take care of myself.  And at times, to take care of my brothers.  I was raised to do my chores without complaining or arguing.  I was raised to eat dinner, or to go to bed without.  I've learned how to be self-reliant.  To do things on my own.

So giving up control to God is oh-so-hard.  I know that He's in control.  I know that He has my best intentions at heart.  I know that He only wants the best for me.  And that He wants me to live an abundant life through Him.

So why is it so hard to surrender to Him?  Fully?  Not in just one area of my life right now.  And this area two weeks later.  And then this area 3 months from now, and so on.

Honestly, I'm scared of what He'll ask of me.  Demand of me.  Call me to do.  To sacrifice.  I know God's given each and every one of us different talents and skills, and that's how He'll use us.  And I know He promises that if we completely surrender to Him, we will live happy, fulfilling and abundant lives-- more than we could ever ask of or imagine!

But I still hesitate.

My challenge: Will I follow Him?